Someone asked me,
"Why Betty Zinkan?
Who is she?"
And the little me
inside of me
cried
because that person
never knew her.
Betty Zinkan has become
a keyword search
to get to this place
in cyberspace:
betty zinkan
bettyzinkanshouse
Someone in Germany
or Ireland
or Russia
or Canada
or the continental US
typed those words
to find her house
that isn't her house
to read these words
that aren't hers.
The little me held on
to Betty Zinkan's
words when she
would read me a story
about Kay and Bobby's troubles
one afternoon in the park
before afternoon nap.
I held on to her
words
while she whispered prayers
at morning mass
and told her friends afterwards
how proud she was
of her granddaughter.
The little me held on
to her
words,
because they helped me know
that Betty Zinkan loved
me
a little more
each time I visited
her house.
Now, I suppose
I'm trying to compensate
for the little me
never talking with my grandma
about grown-up things,
about raising children
and creative writing.
Before she married and committed
her life to her family
she wrote
for the pure passion of it.
She could have been a teacher,
because she was electric,
and intellectual,
and kind. But, I'll never know
what the writing process
was like for her--a creative genius.
I'll never be able
to ask her advice
about the children in my classroom
who need a Betty Zinkan
type of love.
So I do the next best thing.
I live in her house
where she once
inspired the world
(and husband
and five children
and seven grandchildren),
hoping to absorb her
from the light switches
and hardwood floors.
I try to hear her voice.
Every once in awhile,
when I'm journaling,
or praying,
or playing with my
kids,
I'll feel Betty Zinkan
with me,
patting my knee
and telling me,
"It'll be alright, darling."
In those moments,
when all of me
wonders
how I'll survive
motherhood
and teaching,
I know
I owe the world
something similar
without taking credit
for what I've gleaned
through blood
and childhood.
I devote a space
to Betty Zinkan
online,
maybe thinking
that by simply typing
her name,
I will
(anyone will)
find her.
By Erin Ott, age 28
1. Your body is beautiful and deserves to be loved.
2. Most people are so worried about themselves that they aren’t judging you. If they are, then it’s between them and God.
3. The weight of the world doesn’t have to be on your shoulders, but
somebody needs to act courageously to bring about peace and change.
That can be you.
3a. When changing the world, start with bringing peace to your family and enemies.
4. You are precious beyond explanation, regardless of whether that boy
likes you, loves you, breaks up with you, or tries to convince you the
opposite is true.
5. Periods, childbirth, menopause, and hips are
all necessary evils of womanhood. God chose you to be a woman because
you are strong enough to handle it beautifully.
6. There is no possible way to describe the fear your parents have of losing you. Try to be patient with us.
7.
You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Anything. As Elmo
discovered in Grouchland, you just have to “take the first step.”
8. Celebrate being an introvert! It is the gift of keeping your observations,
thoughts, and feelings a secret until the exact right moment you’re
ready to dazzle the world with your brilliance. Awkward silence is just a myth—the extroverts will always fill the air for you.
9. Your birthday is a celebration for the whole world. Always treat a
birthday as if it’s the most important day of the year.
10. General manners are always appropriate, even when you're crabby. Saying
please, thank you, and giving a smile will get you everywhere, even
when you feel like the world doesn’t deserve your courtesy.
11. Everyone is worth the effort. Seeking to develop the potential in humanity is the single greatest
thing, and single hardest thing, you can do for yourself. Nurturing others will elevate your
soul.
12. Spider veins are beautiful; they just show the outside world how strong your heart is.
13. Taking risks is a necessary practice. If you don’t, you’ll remain stagnant as the world passes you by.
14.
Sticks and
stones break bones, but words can break spirit and trust. Try very, very hard to not say something you'll regret.
15. There are plenty of occasions where you should not defend yourself. Admit when you’re wrong without following it with “but…” The same rule applies for giving compliments, by the way.
16.
There are no occasions for which you should decide to hide your
intelligence. Pretending to be dumber than you are only makes dumb
people de-value you.
17. Waiting for Jesus to come down and save us will only put you in a state
of complacency and distance from God. You ARE Jesus’ hands, feet,
words, and heart, and you must act on this every day (especially when
you’re overwhelmed with thinking about what a privileged life you have).
18. You can always do better, but believe that you’re already enough.
19. Incorrect spelling and grammar are sometimes deal-breakers in some situations. Misspelling homonyms and misusing semi-colons and apostrophes can devastate your chances of being taken seriously.
20. Sometimes your soul-mate falls in your lap. Your father is the best example of a man of decency that I’ve ever
met. I pray often that you seek to marry someone as equally virtued as
he is.
20a. When it comes to decide if you want to get married, just know that it is hard work. Pick someone who also believes #11.
21. Reading books that are too easy or too hard for you is
your right as an intellectual. I’ve learned some of my best life
lessons from a weird combination of Dr. Seuss, Jack Handey, and the
occasional Austen.
22. You really will think better after a full night’s sleep.
23. You will think worse after disappointments, dehydration, flattery, and flirtation.
24.
As a mother, I make mistakes and sometimes you might suffer because of
them. I'll probably lose more sleep over it than you, and will really
need your forgiveness at times.
25. God is the basis of all things. If something seems wrong, it's
because it is void of God. Don't let yourself get sucked into that
void.
