Dear Cherished Students,
I want to tell you that your future will be beautiful. I'm telling you this because I think it's very possible that the media, or the Mayans, or a collage of irresponsible public posts of opinions and attack ads may have made you feel threatened and fearful. I think it's possible that you have been exposed to pictures that are too graphic, and news stories that are too sorrowful, and headlines that are too shocking to ignore. I think it's possible that you're on a steady diet of opinions passed off as truth, or misunderstandings turned into outrage, or loneliness converted to violence. I can imagine that you might feel that the world is easily illustrated by all of the words and images from TV, social networks, and the media that sting your eyes.
We can't allow headlines and posts on social media to force us to question all that we know to be true about the goodness of people. If we took a snapshot of every single moment we've experienced in our entire lives and lined them up one right after another, we'd see that a relatively small percentage of those moments were devastating, and virtually none of them weren't followed up sometime down the line with some other act of love, no matter how small. We'd see that people are good, love is powerful, and there is no shortage of goodness and love in this world. We'd see that even those acts of the most heinous kind generally go against what we've known to be true since the day we were
born. That's why we mourn so fiercely; tragedy is an exception to our daily understanding of the world, not the norm. Though it's hard to see when we're hurting and confused, humanity is love and growth despite, and sometimes because of,
struggles. Try not to think of a single event, or even twenty events, to be a crystal ball for the future. Think of it as an opportunity to look for the love and goodness that will inevitably show up.
I want you to know that you have a responsibility here. Just as our view of the world can be skewed by negative events and the chatter surrounding it, our worldview can also be skewed (or corrected) by reports and acts of love. Shouldn't we take control of how we all look at the world? Further, shouldn't we take control of how many snapshots of our daily life show love and goodness, rather than hurt? It's an easy thing to do, really. What would happen if in one day, or even one moment, everyone logged in to their social network profile and posted something beautiful about their daily existence? What if every person then went to another person's post and re-posted it? What would happen if what was viral was someone's posting of their baby sister's first laugh, or someone giving free hugs in the hallway? I can tell you that what's trending is loud, but we can be louder in about one minute.
What about this? How can we show the truth, which is that the world is filled with kindness and love? How can we remind ourselves, and our neighbors, that our futures are beautiful? Why not start on December 21st? It's a day of "rebirth," anyway. Don't be fearful. There is love here, and we all know it.
Love,
Your Teacher, Partner in Peace
The words you say
are like butterflies
or feathers.
They float in the air
in swoopy dances,
attracting attention.
Their colors and patterns
change with each new
appearance,
each word more intricate
and captivating
than the last.
The words you say
show an unblemished
view of the world that
I only wish I could glimpse.
I am a Grown Up, though,
So I preserve your words,
petrified in a glass shadow box.
Tiny pins display them
with labels.
The words you say
make me want to do,
to set free
those words
and replay them,
dance to them,
slide down them,
gather them in my hands
and release them to the wind
like dandelion fluff,
only to chase them down again.
I want to breathe them in
and sing them out.
I want to plant them in earth
until they've stained my hands,
soak them in sunlight,
let them grow.
Then,
and only then,
I want to show them to
other Grown Ups
so we can remember
how to see,
and live,
and speak.
Hey you,
I understand that your brother can drive you crazy sometimes. No, I can't take him back. No, a new baby in the family won't make your brother any less interested in you. Can I say that I believe that your brother is teaching you some valuable lessons in life? Here's what I've learned just by watching the two of you grow together.
1. At some point, someone will take something that you believe belongs to you. Even worse, he might slobber on it and rip it to shreds.
Ask yourself these questions: 1) Does that thing really belong to you? 2) Did you only take notice that you lost that thing when someone swooped in and began to value it? Maybe you don't value that thing as much as you thought. 3) Will crying and stomping solve the problem? It might make you feel better temporarily, but won't change the reality of the situation that you've lost something. Plus, incessant crying will only tire you out, sending you spinning into a tantrum rather than contentment. No one likes a tantrum...even the tantrum-thrower. Use your words in the place they are most impactful. If the item that has been lost is worth fighting for, then tell him that what he's done has upset you. Contact the authorities for help. Otherwise, find something else on which to focus your attention that is more valuable to you at the moment. Figure out what's worth fighting for and what you can let go.
2. Not everyone has to live by the same rules.
Yep, someone only has to eat three green beans while you have to eat five. Someone gets a one-minute time out while you get three. One of my favorite professors taught me that what is fair is not always equitable, and what is equitable is not always fair. What would happen to tiny newborns if we all had to eat five green beans at dinner? It's hard when you realize that someone else has different expectations placed on him, but perhaps it's time to celebrate what gifts you have that another might not, like the chance to stay up thirty minutes later, or the ability to eat ice cream when the other guy is lactose intolerant. Figure out what is absolutely awesome about being the exception to the rule, because we all are in some situations. Be thankful that life allows us to grow in our own ways.
3. A true gift from God is something (or someone) that didn't necessarily make your life exponentially more amazing, but rather something that adds to your understanding of the goodness and depth of grace.
That person who sometimes makes you want to pull out your hair is also that person who will stand in solidarity with you when you're in time out, or will take notice and cry when you're hurt. At the same time that that person will inspire you to act in a less-than-distinguished manner, he will also stand nearby until you gather yourself so that playtime can continue. That person will think of/chatter about you first thing in the morning simply because he has chosen you to fill his first waking moments, despite the fact that you had to stand in opposite corners the night before. That person will follow you and take an interest in you no matter how much you crave your personal space. The funny thing is, you'll find yourself drawn to him, too, sharing in his joy and sorrows without hesitation. You know why? Because the ups and downs of unconditional love shared by siblings is, in fact, graceful. You return to each other continually because of grace. You'll always have each other, no matter what degree of separation or obstacle, because of grace. Look through those cranky times to see what grace you've been given because of your brother and how you've shared that selflessly with him.
4. Letting others share their gifts enhances your gifts, too.
Sometimes other people will get recognition that you wish you had, too. There will be plenty of moments for you, too, because you are an incredible human being. Allow others to ooh and ahh over someone else without feeling threatened. It is fruitless to try to minimize someone else's gifts, because frankly, this world is full of spotlight mongers who bring about pain in their selfish quests. Your brother is the way he is because he has watched and idolized your gifts his whole life. He's also been blessed with some of his own unique gifts, just like you. You've shared your gifts with him just by being the person you are, just as you have soaked up his gifts by proximity. Be free in your knowledge that we are great because of the intertwining of, and not the competition between, the gifts each person in our family holds.
5. Everyone has poop in their pants one time or another.
It seems to stink up the atmosphere when someone is especially crabby or hurt about something. Even further, sometimes trying to clean up the mess brings on further despair because it's uncomfortable. However, avoiding that person does nothing to help the situation. The best thing I think you can do is to help distract the person while he gets things sorted out. In fact, some day you'll find yourself in a similar situation where you hope those closest to you will show some compassion and understanding, even when you feel vulnerable with your butt in the air. You'll get past it, and so does everyone else, eventually.
6. God gave everyone an instant, loving friend somewhere on this Earth. Aren't you lucky he is growing up in your house?
You, my dear, have an instant friend in a person who is growing up right along side you! This is not to say that your relationship won't be difficult at times, but trust me. You have something that no one else in the entire world currently has with your brother. He will never have any older sister other than you. You even share some similar genes that no one else has in this world. You are tied to him in so many ways that you don't yet understand. I hope that what we've given you is the best friend you could possibly ever find. It already makes my heart glad when the two of you delight in each other's company. At some point way down the road, it's possible that you two will support each other in ways that others can't quite fulfill in the same way. What you have is sacred and irreplaceable. It is profound.
Thank you for taking your job as a sister so seriously. For the journey ahead, bring your brother along with you. He'll want to tag along anyway.
Love,
Mommy
